[NCUC-EC] Fwd: [Membership-affairs] Rough Draft of Brochure

[William Drake]

Begin forwarded message:

> From: William Drake <william.drake at uzh.ch>
> Subject: [Membership-affairs] Rough Draft of Brochure
> Date: June 21, 2013 12:53:17 PM GMT+01:00
> To: "membership-affairs at lists.ncuc.org" <membership-affairs at lists.ncuc.org>
> 
> Hi
> 
> Settings for the list have been adjusted so I am now resending the below. Actually, Milton made a couple tweaks I've not had time to look at so all the points below may no longer be relevant, will see this afternoon when able. Anyway, the current version of the brochure is attached.  We need the thing to be delivered in a little over two weeks so I will have to send to ICANN publications dept. this weekend from here in Lisbon, where I'm supposedly attending the EuroDIG meeting but am actually hiding in my room doing NCUC, MAG etc. most of the time, except for sessions I'm supposed to speak in etc.  Any quick feedback greatly appreciated.  Sorry for the rushed process, not what I'd hoped for but what I can do under the circumstances.
> 
> Bill
> 
> 
> Begin forwarded message:
> 
>> From: William Drake <william.drake at uzh.ch>
>> Subject: First Rough Draft of Brochure
>> Date: June 19, 2013 8:08:11 AM GMT+01:00
>> To: "membership-affairs at lists.ncuc.org" <membership-affairs at lists.ncuc.org>
>> 
>> [trying again]
>> 
>> Hi
>> 
>> Milton and I spent a couple hours fooling around the other day and got as far as the attached.  We are fairly content with the basic layout and look, but of course will listen if ICANN's graphic designer has some good suggestions on how to spiff it up.  
>> 
>> To be honest, I'm rushing to grade papers today and then leaving for the European IGF tomorrow, where I'll be heavily booked up until Friday, at which point I can circle back and spend a little more time on this.  I'm supposed to get this to ICANN by the end of the week, which may slip for a few days but shouldn't by much.  What we really need at this point is feedback on text.  I'm sure some of the phraseology could be more consistent and punchy, that we've overlooked important points that could fit in, etc.  Comments:
>> 
>> P.1 top page is fine I think although hopefully we won't have any rights issues with the CS sign
>> 
>> P. 2 Who We Are is ok but I wonder if we're clear enough about GNSO
>> 
>> P. 3 What We Do has some redundancies and may be missing relevant points
>> 
>> P. 4 Our Issues some of the explanations are not as elegant as one might like
>> 
>> P. 5 About ICANN we lifted this from their website but actually it's all about the IANA function, not a good representation of ICANN's work…no mention of gTLD policy process in GNSO=>Board/GAC etc.
>> 
>> P.6 Join Us!  Seems thin.
>> 
>> So….if anyone has any ideas that could help in the next iteration, please share them.
>> 
>> Thanks
>> 
>> Bill
> 
> 
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