[ncdnhc-discuss] Revised security resolution

[Kent Crispin]

On Sat, Nov 03, 2001 at 07:48:31AM -0800, Dave Crocker wrote:
> a few, changes, to improve accuracy and precision:
> 
> At 01:30 PM 11/2/2001 -0500, Milton Mueller wrote:
> >The Internet's robustness relies largely
> >on its distributed, decentralized nature.
> >ICANN is responsible for central coordination
> >of key resources critical to its operation;
> >namely, domain names, Internet addresses,
> >and protocol parameters.  Ensuring the
> 
>          namely, administration of domain names, Internet IP addresses, and 
> protocol parameters, as well as operation of the DNS root servers.
> 
> <<covers the entire system, since there is no other organization with a 
> focus on the total system.  /d>>
> 
> 
> >security of the DNS root servers, the IP
> >allocation system, and other central
> 
>          security of DNS name allocation administration, DNS server 
> operation, IP address allocation administration

The above changes seem very important to me.  No sense expanding 
ICANN's role.

> >resources within ICANN's deliberately
> >limited purview, is a responsibility shared
> >by all organizations within ICANN.
> >
> >The non-commercial organizations and
> >entities represented in the Non-Commercial
> >Domain-Name Holders Constituency
> >(NCDNHC) of ICANN's DNSO may be less
> >able to recover from disruptions in their
> >operations caused by attacks on the DNS.
> 
> <<A small Internet-based for-profit business is likely to suffer vastly 
> more than National Geographic magazine, which is non-commercial but very 
> large.  So the above sentence is note quite correct.  It also does not seem 
> to serve an important purpose in the overall statement.  The paragraph, 
> below, is sufficient for highlighting the nature of NCDNHC focus. /d>>

As far as I can see, there is no meaningful correlation whatsoever
between how much an organization is likely to be disrupted by DNS
problems, and the intensity of its profit motive. 

> >Many non-commercial interests in the DNS
> >and IP allocation system are in universities
> >and research institutes with high levels of
> >technical expertise. Many others, however,
> >have very limited financial and technical
> >resources to train for defense against and
> >prevention of attacks or to recover from a
> >crisis.
> >
> >Because the expertise embodied in non-
> >commercial organizations is usually more
> >accessible to a wider community and not
> 
> is usually open and accessible to a wide community and not
> 
> <<< "more" and "wider" make an unanchored comparison; the purpose of the 
> sentence is served without making a comparison. /d>>

Good point.

> >restricted to proprietary interests, academic
> >and other non-commercial organizations may
> >be optimal points for the diffusion of knowledge
> >about threats to the security of the systems
> >under ICANN's administration.
> 
> 
>          and other non-commercial organization are excellent participants 
> in efforts to diffuse knowledge
> 
> <<In fact, academic organizations are typically NOT "optimal", or even very 
> good, places for discussion and resolution of operational matters.  /d>>
> 
> 
> >Therefore the NCDNHC calls upon the Names
> 
> Therefore the NCDNHC is eager to collaborate with the Names
> 
> <<<friendlier wording, since it states a willingness to share work, rather 
> than demanding that others do work for us. /d>>

Frankly, "eager to collaborate with" strikes me as awkward.  But your 
point is a vital one.  How about:

    Therefore the NCDNHC is happy to work with...

> >Council, the ASO, the PSO, the ICANN Board,
> >and Education and Research Networks
> >throughout the world to promptly assess the
> >threats to the security of the resources under
> >ICANN's coordination, and to establish measures
> >to address these threats, their avoidance, and
> >the minimization or avoidance of the collateral
> >damage they may produce, in order that non-
> >commercial organizations with limited technical,
> >human and financial resources can be protected
> >from such threats, and have affordable access
> >to preventive measures.
> 
>          may produce, in order that organizations can be protected from
> 
> <<the existing wording suggests that we care only about "non-commercial 
> organizations with limited...resources."  We care about all 
> organizations.  In addition, all organizations have limited resources.  /d>>
> 
> 
> >Further, the NCDNHC calls upon its technically
> >strong members and their peers to aid ICANN
> 
> <<"and their peers"?  Please explain who might qualify as a "peer" to an 
> NCDNHC technically strong member.  /d>>
> 
> 
> >in the aforementioned effort to assess the
> >threats to the stability security of the DNS and
> >address allocation system and to provide the
> >community with their expertise. The NCDNHC
> >organization representatives will call on people
> >from their communities to provide further
> >assistance.
> >
> >The NCDNHC offers the technical and policy
> >expertise of its members, the high standing
> >of some of them in their societies, and the
> 
> replace
> 
>          "the high standing of some of them in their societies"
> 
> with
> 
>          of its members, their high standing in their societies,
> 
> <<simpler and more inclusive.  /d>>
> 
> 
> >intercultural experience of the constituency
> >to the process of assessing and securing the
> >security of the resources under ICANN's
> >administration.
> 
> 
> d/
> 
> 
> ----------
> Dave Crocker  <mailto:dcrocker at brandenburg.com>
> Brandenburg InternetWorking  <http://www.brandenburg.com>
> tel +1.408.246.8253;  fax +1.408.273.6464
> 
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-- 
Kent Crispin                               "Be good, and you will be
kent at songbird.com                           lonesome." -- Mark Twain