[ncdnhc-discuss] Revised security resolution

[Dave Crocker]

a few, changes, to improve accuracy and precision:

At 01:30 PM 11/2/2001 -0500, Milton Mueller wrote:
>The Internet's robustness relies largely
>on its distributed, decentralized nature.
>ICANN is responsible for central coordination
>of key resources critical to its operation;
>namely, domain names, Internet addresses,
>and protocol parameters.  Ensuring the

         namely, administration of domain names, Internet IP addresses, and 
protocol parameters, as well as operation of the DNS root servers.

<<covers the entire system, since there is no other organization with a 
focus on the total system.  /d>>


>security of the DNS root servers, the IP
>allocation system, and other central

         security of DNS name allocation administration, DNS server 
operation, IP address allocation administration


>resources within ICANN's deliberately
>limited purview, is a responsibility shared
>by all organizations within ICANN.
>
>The non-commercial organizations and
>entities represented in the Non-Commercial
>Domain-Name Holders Constituency
>(NCDNHC) of ICANN's DNSO may be less
>able to recover from disruptions in their
>operations caused by attacks on the DNS.

<<A small Internet-based for-profit business is likely to suffer vastly 
more than National Geographic magazine, which is non-commercial but very 
large.  So the above sentence is note quite correct.  It also does not seem 
to serve an important purpose in the overall statement.  The paragraph, 
below, is sufficient for highlighting the nature of NCDNHC focus. /d>>


>Many non-commercial interests in the DNS
>and IP allocation system are in universities
>and research institutes with high levels of
>technical expertise. Many others, however,
>have very limited financial and technical
>resources to train for defense against and
>prevention of attacks or to recover from a
>crisis.
>
>Because the expertise embodied in non-
>commercial organizations is usually more
>accessible to a wider community and not

is usually open and accessible to a wide community and not

<<< "more" and "wider" make an unanchored comparison; the purpose of the 
sentence is served without making a comparison. /d>>


>restricted to proprietary interests, academic
>and other non-commercial organizations may
>be optimal points for the diffusion of knowledge
>about threats to the security of the systems
>under ICANN's administration.


         and other non-commercial organization are excellent participants 
in efforts to diffuse knowledge

<<In fact, academic organizations are typically NOT "optimal", or even very 
good, places for discussion and resolution of operational matters.  /d>>


>Therefore the NCDNHC calls upon the Names

Therefore the NCDNHC is eager to collaborate with the Names

<<<friendlier wording, since it states a willingness to share work, rather 
than demanding that others do work for us. /d>>


>Council, the ASO, the PSO, the ICANN Board,
>and Education and Research Networks
>throughout the world to promptly assess the
>threats to the security of the resources under
>ICANN's coordination, and to establish measures
>to address these threats, their avoidance, and
>the minimization or avoidance of the collateral
>damage they may produce, in order that non-
>commercial organizations with limited technical,
>human and financial resources can be protected
>from such threats, and have affordable access
>to preventive measures.

         may produce, in order that organizations can be protected from

<<the existing wording suggests that we care only about "non-commercial 
organizations with limited...resources."  We care about all 
organizations.  In addition, all organizations have limited resources.  /d>>


>Further, the NCDNHC calls upon its technically
>strong members and their peers to aid ICANN

<<"and their peers"?  Please explain who might qualify as a "peer" to an 
NCDNHC technically strong member.  /d>>


>in the aforementioned effort to assess the
>threats to the stability security of the DNS and
>address allocation system and to provide the
>community with their expertise. The NCDNHC
>organization representatives will call on people
>from their communities to provide further
>assistance.
>
>The NCDNHC offers the technical and policy
>expertise of its members, the high standing
>of some of them in their societies, and the

replace

         "the high standing of some of them in their societies"

with

         of its members, their high standing in their societies,

<<simpler and more inclusive.  /d>>


>intercultural experience of the constituency
>to the process of assessing and securing the
>security of the resources under ICANN's
>administration.


d/


----------
Dave Crocker  <mailto:dcrocker at brandenburg.com>
Brandenburg InternetWorking  <http://www.brandenburg.com>
tel +1.408.246.8253;  fax +1.408.273.6464