Draft NCSG petition, please review

[Norbert Klein]

Thanks, Milton, for the huge amount of work done.

> I'd like to send this to the Board in a week or so, so if you are
> interested in the future structure of the NCSG please review it and
> voice your approval, or propose modifications.

So I have some notes, not on substance, where I agree with your draft, but
more on some small points - you know I am living in a non-English speaking
environment, and I have often to explain to others here what might be clear
among the experts elsewhere.

Sorry that it is long, but I include the context for identification.


Norbert

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A clarification suggested:

"2.0	Organization and Membership
2.1	Composition
The NCSG shall consist of four distinct parts: the Membership, Constituencies,
an Executive Committee and a Policy Committee. The Membership shall consist
of organizations and individuals that meet the Membership criteria and
complete the processes set out in Section 2.2. The Executive Committee, led
by the Chair,..."

I suggest to say "the Chair of the NCSG" to avoid the misunderstanding that it
is "...the Chair of the Executive Committee..." - the term "the Chair is
defined much further down only. I think it is useful to have the terms clear
when they show up first.
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Minor points and an explanations for not so well versed non-native speakers of
English (I want to show this also to colleagues here and avoid getting such
questions back; this is a general concern for ICANN etc. insider language
which disregards the multi-cultural basis of the Internet users).

"2.2.2. 	Ineligible organizations. The membership of the NCSG specifically
excludes:
1. Political organizations whose primary purpose is to hold government office
and/or ct government officials;2. Commercial organizations and associations
of or for the benefit of commercial entities (even if they are non-profit in
form) such as industry trade associations;
3. Organizations that provide services under contract or MoU with ICANN;
4. Organizations that are represented in ICANN through another Supporting
Organization or other GNSO Stakeholder Group. However, organizations and
individuals that participate in ICANN’s At Large Advisory Committee are not
excluded by this criterion, though they may be excluded by the other three."

"...and/or to elect government..."
"...contract or a Memorandum of Understanding with..."
",,,or other GNSO Stakeholder Groups" or "...or another GNSO Stakeholder
Group"
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"...may participate in NCSG listservs..."
I suggest to say instead: "may participate in NCSG mailing lists" throughout
the text.
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"2.2.5.	Individuals. Individuals can also be members of the NCSG.
2.2.5.1. Eligible individuals include:
a) Individuals who register domain names for personal or family uses of a
predominantly noncommercial nature;
b) Individual Internet users who are primarily concerned with the public
interest aspects of domain name policy and are not represented in ICANN
through membership in another GNSO Stakeholder Group or the ccNSO;"

Suggested change for clarification, as the term ccNSO shows up first here, to:
"...or the Country Code Names Supporting Organisation (ccNSO);"

Same for "...PDP" when it shows up first, change to "... Policy Development
Process (PDP)..."
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I do not understand the following clearly:

"3.4.1	...Their function is to a leadership role in translating the common
goals and priorities of the SG into ICANN GNSO-approved policies, and  to
oppose and prevent the passage of ICANN policies harmful to the interests of
NCSG members. "

Is it something like this:

"Their function is to translate the common goals and priorities of the
Noncommercial Users Stakeholders Group into ICANN GNSO-approved policies, or
to oppose and prevent the passage of policies harmful to the interests of
NCSG members."
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"3.6.1	...All member organizations and individuals must be a visible node in
that site."

Sorry, I do not understand the language - what does it mean that I "must be a
visible node in that site"? I checked here with friends - obviously I am not
the only one who does not understand this.
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