hahaha!!! ;-) ;-) ;-)<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sun, Apr 1, 2012 at 10:24 AM, Nuno Garcia <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:ngarcia@ngarcia.net">ngarcia@ngarcia.net</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
This is totally unexpected.<div><br></div><div>BR</div><div>NG<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">---------- Forwarded message ----------<br>From: <b class="gmail_sendername">Lauren Weinstein</b> <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:lauren@vortex.com" target="_blank">lauren@vortex.com</a>></span><br>
Date: 1 April 2012 08:05<br>Subject: [ NNSquad ] ICANN Announces Surprise Termination of Domain Name Expansion Program; Plans Own Dissolution<br>To: <a href="mailto:nnsquad@nnsquad.org" target="_blank">nnsquad@nnsquad.org</a><br>
<br><br>
<br>
ICANN Announces Surprise Termination of Domain Name Expansion Program;<br>
Plans Own Dissolution<br>
<br>
Sunday, 1 April 2012<br>
<br>
MARINA DEL REY, California (ZAP) -- In a stunning and unexpected<br>
announcement, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers<br>
(ICANN) has announced the immediate termination of its controversial and<br>
much criticized plan for a vast expansion of generic top-level<br>
Internet domain names (gTLDs), and has set an aggressive timetable for<br>
the dissolution of ICANN itself.<br>
<br>
ICANN has been increasingly condemned for what many observers have<br>
called erratic and inappropriate decision-making processes, leading to<br>
the U.S. Department of Commerce refusing to renew a key ICANN function<br>
last month, and ICANN's own outgoing CEO publicly implying that<br>
conflicts of interest on the ICANN board of directors have allowed<br>
ICANN to be co-opted by moneyed "domainer" speculation interests.<br>
<br>
ICANN spokesman Seymour Murdochian discussed his organization's<br>
drastic change of course as he snacked on Beluga caviar spread over<br>
Wonder Bread, while watching his Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow being<br>
washed and detailed in Beverly Hills.<br>
<br>
"I realize that there are many serious allegations outstanding against<br>
ICANN these days," said Mr. Murdochian. "We're blamed for ignoring<br>
the best interests of the global Internet community. We're accused of<br>
implementing an extortionist protection racket via an enormous domain<br>
name expansion program, that would ultimately suck billions of dollars<br>
out of the Internet economy and would only serve to enrich the<br>
"domain-industrial complex" operating those domains. People claim<br>
that we arrogantly ignore legitimate concerns of trademark holders,<br>
are complicit in helping the U.S. government disable domains around<br>
the world without due process, waste money on unnecessary global<br>
travel to exotic locales, have become totally owned by a "gold rush"<br>
mentality via wealthy powers at the top of the DNS food chain, and<br>
even that we use overly expensive hand soap in our office restrooms,"<br>
added Mr. Murdochian.<br>
<br>
"I want to be absolutely clear that the ICANN board of directors takes<br>
firm and uncompromising exception to such a characterization. Our<br>
hand soap is not outrageously expensive, and given the amount of hand<br>
washing we do around here, having quality soap available is a<br>
necessity, not a luxury," Murdochian noted.<br>
<br>
Murdochian then explained ICANN's recent change of heart. "After<br>
extensive discussions internally, with our travel agents, and with our<br>
personal portfolio managers, we've decided that the time is ripe for<br>
us to bow out of formal Internet affairs. We want to make way for the<br>
creation of new Internet governance models that can be purpose-built<br>
to better serve the entire Internet community around the world, will<br>
reduce the risk of Internet fragmentation that has been rising as<br>
domestic governments increasingly threaten not to play along with our<br>
current schemes, and will help reduce the risk of a potentially<br>
disastrous Internet takeover by politically-encumbered organizations<br>
such as the United Nations or International Telecommunication Union."<br>
<br>
"Therefore, we've announced that effective immediately, all ICANN<br>
activities related to new Internet top-level domains are permanently<br>
ended. We will be refunding all associated fees already paid by<br>
applicants, and as a token of our appreciation for past support will<br>
be including with each refund an approximately 1.5 carat, 'H' color,<br>
'SI' quality diamond from our vaults."<br>
<br>
"We have filed appropriate notifications with the Department of<br>
Commerce and foreign governments expressing our intention to cease all<br>
ICANN operations no later than a year from now on 1 April 2013."<br>
<br>
"I'll be reachable for additional comments at my summer home on the<br>
Riviera if there are any other questions," said Mr. Murdochian, just<br>
before his chauffeur whisked him away.<br>
<br>
Asked about these unexpected, dramatic developments, Lauren Weinstein,<br>
a long-time Internet technologist and vocal critic of ICANN's domain<br>
name plans, said that, "It's indeed encouraging to see ICANN finally<br>
doing what's really right for the entire global Internet community,<br>
and abandoning their plans to fleece the Internet at large for the<br>
benefit of domain speculators and associated opportunists. A new<br>
alternative to ICANN and to existing organizations like the ITU and UN<br>
is definitely the way that we need to proceed to make the Internet<br>
better for everyone around the world. It's a shame though that this<br>
process has taken so long, and that this entire article is only an<br>
April Fools' Day posting."<br>
<br>
ZAP/NYC 20120401 0916<br>
<br>
- - -<br>
<br>
--Lauren--<br>
Lauren Weinstein (<a href="mailto:lauren@vortex.com" target="_blank">lauren@vortex.com</a>): <a href="http://www.vortex.com/lauren" target="_blank">http://www.vortex.com/lauren</a><br>
Co-Founder: People For Internet Responsibility: <a href="http://www.pfir.org" target="_blank">http://www.pfir.org</a><br>
Founder:<br>
- Data Wisdom Explorers League: <a href="http://www.dwel.org" target="_blank">http://www.dwel.org</a><br>
- Network Neutrality Squad: <a href="http://www.nnsquad.org" target="_blank">http://www.nnsquad.org</a><br>
- Global Coalition for Transparent Internet Performance: <a href="http://www.gctip.org" target="_blank">http://www.gctip.org</a><br>
- PRIVACY Forum: <a href="http://www.vortex.com" target="_blank">http://www.vortex.com</a><br>
Member: ACM Committee on Computers and Public Policy<br>
Lauren's Blog: <a href="http://lauren.vortex.com" target="_blank">http://lauren.vortex.com</a><br>
Google+: <a href="http://vortex.com/g+lauren" target="_blank">http://vortex.com/g+lauren</a> / Twitter: <a href="http://vortex.com/t-lauren" target="_blank">http://vortex.com/t-lauren</a><br>
Tel: <a href="tel:%2B1%20%28818%29%20225-2800" value="+18182252800" target="_blank">+1 (818) 225-2800</a> / Skype: <a href="http://vortex.com" target="_blank">vortex.com</a><br>
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<br></blockquote></div><br>